Please bear with me

Obviously, I am searching for a template that will work for me. There are 100,000 of 'em out there...it's been a long process.

Hang in there. I'll find something that will work. Eventually.

Dang it. I wish I would have signed up with wordpress or moveable type; their themes are so much better.

Tricks are for kids

Devin is on his way home now. His flight left late. After a Mt. Dew for the road right before he boarded the flight and utter excitement to see his family and sleep in his bed after 6 weeks of being stuck in Minnesota, I'm sure he's bristling with excitement.

If he were not forced to be strapped into his seat on the plane, he'd be doing backflips right about now.

Thankfully for him, he got his fill of backflips while visiting us. Adam is in the "watch this, mommy!" stage right now. I naively thought this stage would end soon. But after watching no less than 3087 back tucks, 901 forward tucks, 873 off-the-tree flips, and countless other tricks of Devin's, I fear this stage might never end.

Devin made me capture 80% of his tricks on film. Yes, they are quite impressive. As I told him, if I did a backflip off of a tree, you can bet I'd make everyone I know (and many I don't) watch footage of it repeatedly. So, while I don't begrudge him for wanting his talents recognized, I must admit that I do more than my share of watching "This!"

So, if you are dying to see it, here is footage of Devin, flipping off a tree. He's gonna be a famous performer of some sort one day, so don't forget: you saw it here first!

Sensitive Soul

My Adam...he is extremely sensitive. He doesn't warm up to most people quickly, but once he does, he completely trusts you and he'll be in love with you forever. So, his favor is worth the work - he'll reward you in spades.

Today was his daycare provider's 12th anniversary reunion. We love Cheryl. Everyone who has entrusted their children to her loves her. We lucked out when we found her. I knew nothing about finding the right provider, but I knew that I could trust my intuition and my intuition was extremely dead on when it told me that I should run and jump at the chance to let her take care of my children while I attend school, clean the house, and tend to things other than my brood.

Adam took about two months to warm up to the setting. But he immediately fell in love with Zach and Katie. They are both extremely sweet kiddos who have since moved on. Adam wasn't even two when they left Cheryl's, but Adam was deeply upset by them leaving. He would cry some mornings, telling me in his best 2-yr old vocabulary "Zackie and Katie all gone..."

One year later he STILL talks about them. After seeing them at the reunion today he told me, "I saw Zach and Katie and now I'm happy but they not at Cheryl's anymore so I sad but I saw them now and so I happy" (forgive the runon sentence, but it's hard to transcribe a toddler accurately).

That said, can you see the happiness on this child's face? I have not captured a genuine smile from him in ages (ever since he's learned the "cheese!" pose, natural smiles have been out the door).

Fun at the park

A letter from my television

I found this letter laying on the floor this morning. Printed dot-matrix style. The text was smudged as though it had been written through tears. I thought I would share it with you.

"Do you think it's easy being me? C'mon, look at me! I'm a 10-year old 28" Sony Trinitron. While 10 years old may not sound that old to you, it's like 200 in technology years. Seriously. You replaced your laptop when it was only THREE years old. Yet you still expect me to hold up to my greuling schedule of 15 hrs of nonstop, uninterrupted programming.

I've done so much for you. It's high time you start giving me some respect.

Look. I don't want to complain. The truth is, my worst fear is being replaced. I've seen those ads for those fancy schmancy flat screen tv's. I had no choice! I'm the TV! I had to watch them! But I also saw the look on your face as you sadly wished you could afford one, making a mental note to wait until they came down in price so you could run to Sam's Club or Sears and purchase one. All I could do was hold back my tears and continue to show the commercial, albeit in shamefully low resolution. Still. I did my best.

We've been through a lot. I consider myself part of this family, even though I don't have a name. I was here before the kids. Before the dog. Hell! I was here before Jason even married you! Oh, man! I could tell you some things about him! The stuff he used to watch before you came around. Let's just say, he knows a little bit more about monster trucks and the Miss America Pageant than he'll ever admit.

I didn't complain when you came into the picture. In fact, it was kind of nice not to have to watch Seinfeld and Simpsons ad nauseum. It was a treat to occasionally watch a salacious episode of the Real World or some CNN. I had not seen pictures of Japan since I left the factory! Man, things have changed there.

I've been through six moves with you and Jason. That doesn't include the moves I've been through alone with him. Look how well I have held up! Yeah, the plate broke off my face revealing my AV inputs, and the bottom of me is all chipped up, but I'm still running flawlessly! You even spilled a couple gallons of oil into me during your move from Seattle to LA. Except for emitting the stench of motor oil every now and then, it didn't affect me one bit.

But this. C'mon. How much longer am I going to have to put up with THIS? I can handle Tivo and I can handle Direct TV. I don't particularly like how they think they run the show, when really, they would be nothing without me, but I am a silent leader. I don't need to be in the limelight. I can handle the toddler fingerprints all over my screen (you blame ME for the crappy picture quality!). I can take the spilled kool-aid running underneath me, and the wrong buttons constantly being banged on. But really, do we have to watch 8 hours of Dora every day?

If I had known this is what having a Tivo meant, I would have stopped working a long time ago. I know how lazy you two are. You wouldn't completely get rid of me. You would have just put me on the dresser in the spare bedroom thinking someday you'd get me working again. But now the jig is up. You know I can do it. And you refuse to get another television set right now. So I am forced to bring you endless amounts of Dora and Backyardigans. Not just ANY Dora or Backyardigans. But specific episodes! C'mon, we all know what's going to happen: Dora and Boots have to save King Popo from the mean magician. But wait! How will they figure out the way to the mountains so they can save the king? Oh no! The world is going to end! Who will help them find the way? WAAAHHH!

Oh, that's right. Ask Map! He knows the way! Ok, across the bridge, over the rocks, to the mountains. Let's go. Seriously! We've done this like 800 times already, let's get this mofo in the can. I don't need to repeat it 7 times.

Look, you know I love the kids. I understand they have simple tastes. It's just that...well, I guess I'm just tired. And I'm feeling a little insecure about my age. And, well, it wouldn't hurt if you would show me some attention every now and then. Clean my screen. Maybe dust my top off once in awhile. Put a nice plant on top of me or something. I just need to know you care. I mean, after all we've been through, you could show me a little appreciation once in awhile. If you do, I promise I won't tell Jason that you are addicted to watching Dr. Phil every day.

Love,

Your Television"

Technorati Tags: Toddlers, Dora The Explorer, motherhood, mothering, Backyardigans, Television

Google & Giggle

Because I chose to use the word "monkeys" in the title of this blog, I get a lot of visitors directed from Google who have googled phrases like "monkey butt pictures", "cute monkeys", and, inexplicably, "monkeys breastfeeding". So, for you mis-led readers, whose hopes of finding weird monkey trivia are dashed upon visiting my site, I will occasionally try to post something just for you in a weekly letter called "Dear Google Visitor".

Here is today's first installment.

Dear Google Visitor searching for Monkeys Playing Poker Picture,

First of all, I am sorry that you came to my site by accident. I can tell you why you ended up here. The title "Monkey" in my blog. Secondly, I wrote a piece a while back about Adam and Jason's poker obsession. So, while it was entertaining, I'm sure it isn't what you were looking for.

Here. Will this do?


Now that we have that cleared up, might I suggest something for your next search for a picture? Instead of using MSN for your search, you'd probably get a better result using Google's Image search. You don't even have to wade through text. It's great! And now that I have the monkey's playing poker picture on my site, the Google Image search just might lead you back to me.

I hope you found what you were looking for, Gentle Google Visitor. Please come back again as I am sure I will have more monkey trivia collected on my site in the near future.

Sincerely,

Mama Monkey

The Speed of Summer

Why does summer have to end so quickly? Nevermind. I can answer that. It's because up here in Minnesota, where it's winter 9 months out of the year, you 3 months have to cram in all of your fun outdoor recreation and your not-so-fun outdoor projects (like building a 200 sq foot patio, completely relandscaping your front yard, pulling out 6 poky, thorny, evil shrubs).

I know what you're thinking. It's only August 1. The end of summer is nowhere close. Well, Mr. Know It All, that's where you're wrong. See, for some dumb reason, my college decided that "Fall" semester should start on August 21. That's only 20 days away.

And now I have exactly 20 days to finish all of the projects I started and have as much fun as possible. Those two goals seem mutually exclusive, but I'll have to find a way. Once fall semester starts I'll be even busier, but in a much less fun way. Biology and Literature, here I come!