Please bear with me

Obviously, I am searching for a template that will work for me. There are 100,000 of 'em out there...it's been a long process.

Hang in there. I'll find something that will work. Eventually.

Dang it. I wish I would have signed up with wordpress or moveable type; their themes are so much better.

Tricks are for kids

Devin is on his way home now. His flight left late. After a Mt. Dew for the road right before he boarded the flight and utter excitement to see his family and sleep in his bed after 6 weeks of being stuck in Minnesota, I'm sure he's bristling with excitement.

If he were not forced to be strapped into his seat on the plane, he'd be doing backflips right about now.

Thankfully for him, he got his fill of backflips while visiting us. Adam is in the "watch this, mommy!" stage right now. I naively thought this stage would end soon. But after watching no less than 3087 back tucks, 901 forward tucks, 873 off-the-tree flips, and countless other tricks of Devin's, I fear this stage might never end.

Devin made me capture 80% of his tricks on film. Yes, they are quite impressive. As I told him, if I did a backflip off of a tree, you can bet I'd make everyone I know (and many I don't) watch footage of it repeatedly. So, while I don't begrudge him for wanting his talents recognized, I must admit that I do more than my share of watching "This!"

So, if you are dying to see it, here is footage of Devin, flipping off a tree. He's gonna be a famous performer of some sort one day, so don't forget: you saw it here first!

Sensitive Soul

My Adam...he is extremely sensitive. He doesn't warm up to most people quickly, but once he does, he completely trusts you and he'll be in love with you forever. So, his favor is worth the work - he'll reward you in spades.

Today was his daycare provider's 12th anniversary reunion. We love Cheryl. Everyone who has entrusted their children to her loves her. We lucked out when we found her. I knew nothing about finding the right provider, but I knew that I could trust my intuition and my intuition was extremely dead on when it told me that I should run and jump at the chance to let her take care of my children while I attend school, clean the house, and tend to things other than my brood.

Adam took about two months to warm up to the setting. But he immediately fell in love with Zach and Katie. They are both extremely sweet kiddos who have since moved on. Adam wasn't even two when they left Cheryl's, but Adam was deeply upset by them leaving. He would cry some mornings, telling me in his best 2-yr old vocabulary "Zackie and Katie all gone..."

One year later he STILL talks about them. After seeing them at the reunion today he told me, "I saw Zach and Katie and now I'm happy but they not at Cheryl's anymore so I sad but I saw them now and so I happy" (forgive the runon sentence, but it's hard to transcribe a toddler accurately).

That said, can you see the happiness on this child's face? I have not captured a genuine smile from him in ages (ever since he's learned the "cheese!" pose, natural smiles have been out the door).

Fun at the park

A letter from my television

I found this letter laying on the floor this morning. Printed dot-matrix style. The text was smudged as though it had been written through tears. I thought I would share it with you.

"Do you think it's easy being me? C'mon, look at me! I'm a 10-year old 28" Sony Trinitron. While 10 years old may not sound that old to you, it's like 200 in technology years. Seriously. You replaced your laptop when it was only THREE years old. Yet you still expect me to hold up to my greuling schedule of 15 hrs of nonstop, uninterrupted programming.

I've done so much for you. It's high time you start giving me some respect.

Look. I don't want to complain. The truth is, my worst fear is being replaced. I've seen those ads for those fancy schmancy flat screen tv's. I had no choice! I'm the TV! I had to watch them! But I also saw the look on your face as you sadly wished you could afford one, making a mental note to wait until they came down in price so you could run to Sam's Club or Sears and purchase one. All I could do was hold back my tears and continue to show the commercial, albeit in shamefully low resolution. Still. I did my best.

We've been through a lot. I consider myself part of this family, even though I don't have a name. I was here before the kids. Before the dog. Hell! I was here before Jason even married you! Oh, man! I could tell you some things about him! The stuff he used to watch before you came around. Let's just say, he knows a little bit more about monster trucks and the Miss America Pageant than he'll ever admit.

I didn't complain when you came into the picture. In fact, it was kind of nice not to have to watch Seinfeld and Simpsons ad nauseum. It was a treat to occasionally watch a salacious episode of the Real World or some CNN. I had not seen pictures of Japan since I left the factory! Man, things have changed there.

I've been through six moves with you and Jason. That doesn't include the moves I've been through alone with him. Look how well I have held up! Yeah, the plate broke off my face revealing my AV inputs, and the bottom of me is all chipped up, but I'm still running flawlessly! You even spilled a couple gallons of oil into me during your move from Seattle to LA. Except for emitting the stench of motor oil every now and then, it didn't affect me one bit.

But this. C'mon. How much longer am I going to have to put up with THIS? I can handle Tivo and I can handle Direct TV. I don't particularly like how they think they run the show, when really, they would be nothing without me, but I am a silent leader. I don't need to be in the limelight. I can handle the toddler fingerprints all over my screen (you blame ME for the crappy picture quality!). I can take the spilled kool-aid running underneath me, and the wrong buttons constantly being banged on. But really, do we have to watch 8 hours of Dora every day?

If I had known this is what having a Tivo meant, I would have stopped working a long time ago. I know how lazy you two are. You wouldn't completely get rid of me. You would have just put me on the dresser in the spare bedroom thinking someday you'd get me working again. But now the jig is up. You know I can do it. And you refuse to get another television set right now. So I am forced to bring you endless amounts of Dora and Backyardigans. Not just ANY Dora or Backyardigans. But specific episodes! C'mon, we all know what's going to happen: Dora and Boots have to save King Popo from the mean magician. But wait! How will they figure out the way to the mountains so they can save the king? Oh no! The world is going to end! Who will help them find the way? WAAAHHH!

Oh, that's right. Ask Map! He knows the way! Ok, across the bridge, over the rocks, to the mountains. Let's go. Seriously! We've done this like 800 times already, let's get this mofo in the can. I don't need to repeat it 7 times.

Look, you know I love the kids. I understand they have simple tastes. It's just that...well, I guess I'm just tired. And I'm feeling a little insecure about my age. And, well, it wouldn't hurt if you would show me some attention every now and then. Clean my screen. Maybe dust my top off once in awhile. Put a nice plant on top of me or something. I just need to know you care. I mean, after all we've been through, you could show me a little appreciation once in awhile. If you do, I promise I won't tell Jason that you are addicted to watching Dr. Phil every day.

Love,

Your Television"

Technorati Tags: Toddlers, Dora The Explorer, motherhood, mothering, Backyardigans, Television

Google & Giggle

Because I chose to use the word "monkeys" in the title of this blog, I get a lot of visitors directed from Google who have googled phrases like "monkey butt pictures", "cute monkeys", and, inexplicably, "monkeys breastfeeding". So, for you mis-led readers, whose hopes of finding weird monkey trivia are dashed upon visiting my site, I will occasionally try to post something just for you in a weekly letter called "Dear Google Visitor".

Here is today's first installment.

Dear Google Visitor searching for Monkeys Playing Poker Picture,

First of all, I am sorry that you came to my site by accident. I can tell you why you ended up here. The title "Monkey" in my blog. Secondly, I wrote a piece a while back about Adam and Jason's poker obsession. So, while it was entertaining, I'm sure it isn't what you were looking for.

Here. Will this do?


Now that we have that cleared up, might I suggest something for your next search for a picture? Instead of using MSN for your search, you'd probably get a better result using Google's Image search. You don't even have to wade through text. It's great! And now that I have the monkey's playing poker picture on my site, the Google Image search just might lead you back to me.

I hope you found what you were looking for, Gentle Google Visitor. Please come back again as I am sure I will have more monkey trivia collected on my site in the near future.

Sincerely,

Mama Monkey

The Speed of Summer

Why does summer have to end so quickly? Nevermind. I can answer that. It's because up here in Minnesota, where it's winter 9 months out of the year, you 3 months have to cram in all of your fun outdoor recreation and your not-so-fun outdoor projects (like building a 200 sq foot patio, completely relandscaping your front yard, pulling out 6 poky, thorny, evil shrubs).

I know what you're thinking. It's only August 1. The end of summer is nowhere close. Well, Mr. Know It All, that's where you're wrong. See, for some dumb reason, my college decided that "Fall" semester should start on August 21. That's only 20 days away.

And now I have exactly 20 days to finish all of the projects I started and have as much fun as possible. Those two goals seem mutually exclusive, but I'll have to find a way. Once fall semester starts I'll be even busier, but in a much less fun way. Biology and Literature, here I come!

Translation

I wrote an essay for my English class on learning to speak Minnesotan. I won't make you read the whole thing, instead, I'd like to offer you the following translations, should you, traveling to or from Minnesota, ever want to communicate with the locals.

West Coast Speak .........................Minnesota Equivalent
Muggy.........................................................Humid
Lunch..........................................................Dinner
Dinner.........................................................Supper
Casserole....................................................Hot Dish
Ok, I've got to go.......................................Well, I suppose...
I'm hungry.................................................Oh, if you're hungry, we can eat
I feel like crap...........................................Oh, things could be worse

The biggest translation problem is not the words themselves, but the indirect way in which the words are used. I've learned that a true Minnesotan never has (or shows, anyway) strong emotions or desires. Being a fairly direct person, I've had a lot of difficulty adjusting to this.

I don't think I'll adopt the very indirect approach, but understanding the local custom helps a little bit.

Safety

How did we all make it out of childhood alive? Personally, I owe a great deal of gratitude to Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of the antibiotic effects of Penicillin. If it weren't for this wonder drug, I'd probably be dead - I had at least three ear infections a year, sinus infections, strep throat. Yeah, I'm a hardy specimen.

Beyond the raging bacterial infections that I had to fight off, I grew up outside the era of the extra-safe childhood. Like, I remember the 80 foot tall slide made of unforgiving steel that towered above actual concrete. The slide would heat up all day long under the scorching sun silently waiting for our little exposed legs to touch it so it could give us a fine searing. If someone had poured olive oil on the thing, I'm sure the school playground would have smelled of scent of lightly sauteed school children.

If the burns inflicted upon us were not enough to challenge our existence, we had to ensure that we would never fall off the damn thing. Because if we did, we didn't land on that nice blacktop or the soft rubber mulch they use now. We would have hit the concrete and left a school-child body-shaped dent. Of course, that would mean we would have bled or broke something, so the upshot is that we would have gotten to go home early that day. Sweet! I can hear the shouts now "Oh, Jenny! Your'e clavicle shattered! You're so lucky!"

Now things are so very different. As a slightly neurotic parent, I am glad things are safer. There are so many things to worry about. Things to choke on, fall off of, get hit by, run into, and so on. With my particular children, I have two different sets of worries. With Adam, I have never worried about his physical development getting too ahead of his cognitive development. He's never been overly confident and doesn't usually climb things. But, he is very clumsy. I swear he'll be standing still in the middle of the room, nothing around him and he'll just keel over like some schoolyard bully just tackled him. I think he gets that from me.

Natasha, on the other hand, well, she is a spider. At 7 months, she was climbing things that Adam barely started climbing at 18 months. She's very small, which helps, but she's also very strong. I think she has the strength of 10 grown men. Every ounce of physical self-assuredness that Adam may lack, Natasha makes up for in spades. So, yes, she worries me.

I vascillate between wanting to protect my children from all the dangers that are lurking waiting to snatch them from my protective grip and make us spend time getting to know the ER nurse, and thinking that if, somehow, I made it through childhood with a few minor injuries, that my children can too. But then I get the One Step Ahead catalog and wonder if I should be doing more than keeping the kids off the table and out of the street.

Like, maybe I should buy two of these so that when they do fall down, which they inevitably will, the kids will not sustain a massive head injry.



Yes, this bumper bonnet is an actual product marketed to terrified parents like myself so that when Jr. slips on a piece of macaroni n' cheese, he won't hurt his head. Thanks One Step Ahead.


Thank goodness Natasha and Adam are past the crawling stage, otherwise I would have to buy these knee protectors. Wait, Natasha! You can't crawl yet, you need your knee protectors on!



Frankly, it's kind of funny watching a baby learn to crawl on a hardwood floor. And what baby would actually keep those little legwarmers on? Personally, I think it's a way for the leg warmer industry to try to make a comeback. They market to babies, hooking them on the product early on.

Ok, ok, you argue that accidents are the leading cause of death among children between 1-15. You make a good point, but the biggest number of these deaths are caused by car accidents. Even with $300 + car seats, we still manage to leave our children at risk in the car. Fortunately, our hospital has a car seat class. It's a two-hr class designed to scare the shit out of expecting parents who are not only stressed about the major impending life change, but now have to learn how to properly install a gadget with 9,000 parts, including 857 buckles.

I don't mean to sound righteous, but back in the day, safety in the car meant sitting as far away from your big sister as you could so she wouldn't kick you.

Somehow, all of us parents have reached adulthood. Looking at all the safety products, we scratch our heads wondering how we did it. I would like to say it's survival of the fittest, but given my track record with illnesses, I think in my case it's a combination of luck and survival of the meekest.

Now if I can figure out how to keep Natasha from spinning on the ceiling fan, I think I might be able to get my kids out of childhood alive.

Technorati Tags: toddlers, safety, motherhood, mothering, car seats

Peak Oil

I REALLY do not want to have a political blog. I've tried to keep all my posts about my error filled journey into and through motherhood, but I can no longer resist the urge to post about something that has been eating away at me for a long time.

As soon as I started my summer vacation from school, I decided I would do some light summer reading. Something casual, lofty, and light-hearted.

I went to the library and picked out a few things from various genres:

- A book about parenting (I usually don't read these, but, to my dismay, I actually like the Supernanny!)

- A cookbook (I think I got one on one-pot meals and one for making your own babyfood)

- The Best American Short Stories from 2004

- Crossing the Rubicon

The only one I kept beyond the due date was Crossing the Rubicon. I mean, it is almost 1,000 pages, but that's not the only reason I kept it so long. I would say it was eye-opening, but a better term might be pants-soiling. I had originally attempted to get a book by Richard Clarke, but none were available. So I grabbed this one instead.

I don't know how to convey to you how scary of a book this is. I'll just pretend to be a bad movie reviewer and say...if you only read one book this year, this should be it.

This book, by the way, did not fit the "lighthearted" requirement. It was just something I felt compelled to read after seeing an interview with Mike Ruppert on The Daily Show a long time ago. Rubicon is a non-fiction account of how and why the government was involved in the attacks of 9/11. However, the most enlightening concept within the book is the subject of Peak Oil - how it rules our lives and how it is fueling (pardon the pun) the current wars in the middle east.

Go now, and follow the link to the book. In case you don't feel like scanning my preceeding paragraphs, here it is again. I doubt that many of you feel like reading all 1,000 pages of the book, so instead, I have compiled a list of great links that will provide an overview of what Ruppert discusses in his tome.

I implore you to read as many of these as possible and to familiarize yourself with peak oil and to decide what behaviors of yours you are going to change so that you contribute less to the problem.

Wiki explainer of Peak Oil

Peak Oil Primer by the Energy Bulletin

Peak Oil News

The most terrifying "Project for the New American Century" and more importantly, an anti-PNAC site

You may disagree with the prophecies Peak Oilers are predicting. Many of their predictions are quite grim. And since having the veil ripped off my eyes, I have had a bowling ball in my stomach thinking about how it is going to affect us. One thing is clear, we are on the verge of WWIII now. So, unable to control world events, I am changing my behavior as best I can.

We'll be trading in our gas guzzler SUV for a Toyota Hybrid. I plant as much of my own food as I can and am learning to be a decent gardener (still, at this rate, if we ate only what I grew, we'd get about 2 beets every 9 months, but we'd sure be up to our ears in tomatoes during August). I am going to put in a compost bin because I feel so wasteful throwing out scraps of food that can be used for something. I'm trying to be less of a consumer and more of a make-do'er; relearning the lessons of thriftyness that our parents' parents knew and lived so well. We have a long way to go but I feel better trying to be more self-sufficient.

One thing that does make me feel better is trying to support the effort of relocalization, which is the antithesis of globalization. While I do support knowing about other cultures as much as one can, globalization enslaves citizens to huge mega-corporations in favor of economies of scale, which only benefit the heads of the economies (CEO's, our government), localization gives the power back to the people. Unfortunately for me, living in Minnesota, it also means that if you only shop at the farmer's market for you food, the only vegetables you eat are rhubarb, tomatoes, and corn. I'll sure miss my Kiwi's from California and my grapes from Peru.

Back from camping

We took the boat and the camper up to Starbuck, MN. In case you are wondering, no, there is no Starbucks there. There is, however, a small coffee shop that purported to have WiFi access. We, being internet fiends, took our laptops and were disappointed when we couldn't get it working; something was wrong with Qwests DHCP server and the people running the shop were not only unknowledgeable about their WiFi, but also very unwilling to help. But we did get coffee.

We spent a lot of time at the lake and Adam went on his first tube ride. Devin again proved his masterful kneeboarding skeelz by jumping waves and attempting a 360. His wipeouts were very impressive.

Here are a few pics:

Casualty

The tree in front of our house was killed. We had a minor thunderstorm this evening with a little bit of wind. I came home from a brief trip to Dairy Queen to find one of our trees laying against the garage. It doesn't look like it did any damage to the house. If it had fallen a few inches left or right, it would have done more damage.

So the weekend project of digging up our back yard has turned into a weekend project of chopping up a tree.

More Cheese

Let's face it. It's been a long time since I've posted some pictures of my children. So, to honor their smiling little faces, I think I will do just that.

We've been a busy family so far this summer.

Here are some pictures from our camping trip:








Natasha's teeth are coming in weird. She has both eye teeth, but not the top two-front teeth (one just started coming in this week, though).



Here is big brother Adam protecting his little sister at the park the other day. Some girl was fascinated by Natasha and followed her around staring at her. Adam didn't like that idea, so he put his arms around her and gave the stranger his best big-brother scowl.



And here is big brother Adam driving Natasha around in the Jeep (a big surprise they found one morning in the garage - Santa Claus daddy came the night before).

Getting Political

I don't normally waste my time saying anything about politics in my blog because I know my audience (hi, mom!). You don't come here to read about politics. You come to see cute pictures of my monkeys.

But I couldn't resist posting the link to this hilarious video made by Comedy Central last year. It made fun of President Bush's poor speaking skills. It's always funny to watch, but of course now that Bush's speechwriter has resigned, it's finally topical.

http://www.devilducky.com/media/23894/

A Few Anecdotes

Adam has wholeheartedly entered the world of "why?" I was determined to meet all of his inquisitiveness with precise scientific answers, but as with all things related to parenting...I get too tired and go the easy route responding "because that's just how it is". This is when being religious would come in handy. I could say "Because that's how God made it", but well...I don't feel ready to try to explain my theological beliefs quite yet.

He had an interesting comeback the other day. I told Jason "you kick my butt" after an exhausting effort to get everything packed and ready for camping. Adam said, "No mommy! I don't kick your butt. Your butt is too big!" I suspected Jason in implanting this into his head, but he claimed innocence. I do believe him, but I wonder where this quick retort came from.

While Natasha hasn't mastered quick wit yet, she is becoming much more communicative. She is learning to say "all gone" while doing the ASL sign. The other day she tried nursing and I guess there was nothing there. She looked up at at me and gave me the sign and said "ahh goh!"

Some Gardening Notes

Not to bore you. This post is merely so I can keep track of what's going on in the garden so I can refer to it next year. Ok, and it is so I can brag about my gardening adventures. But just a little.

In my raised bed, I planted early blooming sweet peas, beets, and carrots from seed. I did this late April/early May. A few weeks ago I transplanted some basil and oregano. Last week I stuck in some late blooming bulbs. I can't remember exactly what kinds, but they are all orange. I did this because I got tired of all the veggie planning and wanted something that, after it bloomed, wouldn't need quite so much maintenance. Plus, I had no other place to put the dang bulbs.

So, after I had planted all the veggies seeds, Desi promptly got up in the garden and started digging. I was thoroughly expecting nothing to grow. But the things are growing great! The basil doesn't seem quite as happy about its lot in life as the oregano plant does - that thing is crazy!

Now I have to figure out when I'm supposed to harvest these things....?

As for the new garden spot I dug out next to the shed, everything I planted there seems pretty happy about life. The Rhubarb has always been insane. It produces faster than we can possibly eat it. I put in a Hydrangea (endless summer). It is partially shaded, but unfortunately takes a lot of late afternoon sunshine and tends to droop in the evening. An evening watering usually brings it back to life. I put in a Lily of the Valley and some annuals. I'm going to have to put in some more annuals to keep the weeds at bay until the hydrangea starts to get fuller.

The tomatoes, as always are growing like mad. Soon they'll be threatening to take over the house. I went with small fruit varieties in all three planters this year, since the bigger fruits tend to get eaten by pests before they can fully mature.

I've been spending all my time in the back yard and veggie garden that I haven't done a lick to the front yard other than mow. It needs a lot of help!

Memorial Day

While the Summer Solstice is officially several weeks away, Memorial Day seems to be the unofficial beginning of summer in Minnesota.

The fishing opener here usually, unironically, is on Mother's Day. This is also the usually the weekend or near the weekend of mine and Jason's anniversary. Because of cosmic luck, the fishing opener is usually accompanied by miserable weather. Just when we Minnesotans think the weather is going to work in our favor - the bulbs are blooming, the grass is turning green, we've even donned shorts on more than one occasion - the fishing opener occurs. That weekend we regress into winter weather that makes those, in the words of Garrison Keillor, "who do not drink" come to know "what a hangover feels like". It's utterly depressing. Thank God I drink.

If you have the gall to complain about this cruddy, cold, wet weather, you will most certainly be eating crow come Memorial Day, for this is the weekend that usually represents a turn in the Minnesota microclimate.

Our little family traversed over to Lake Shetek for the weekend. We camped in a tent and endured 95+ degree temps. Thankfully, the lake offered a lot of respite and the campsite was fairly well shaded. This lake is where Jason grew up camping. Where his mommy grew up camping, and with all hopes, where my children will grow up camping. Even though it's quite a drive from our own house, the kids did great (we plan really well, exhausting them and then leaving right at nap time). Adam and Natasha are born campers. Then again, what kids wouldn't be? You eat junk food, stay up late, sleep in a tent, play in sand, mud, lake water, and playgrounds all day long.

Tonight we came back to our boring old home. Adam was NOT pleased with going home. All through the ride he kept saying "I want to go camping NOW"..."I want to go to Worthington"..."I want to go back to the camper". But, tonight is the earliest that Adam had gone to bed in months. Ditto Natasha. Ditto Desi. Ditto Jason....Hmmm....I might hit the hay before midnight myself.

Camping is a lot of fun despite all the work required. Perhaps that's part of its appeal. We all need a good reason to be exhausted. I mean, we're all exhausted anyway, so why not have a good reason?

No More Bitty

6 times my nipples have been bitten in the past 24 hrs. We are talking deliberate, hard, screech-inducing chomping.

One time, she bit and wouldn't let go. The only way I could get her off was to push her face into me so she had to let go so she could breathe. Yes, this sounds very smothering, a la Freud, but it's a technique recommended by my own Britt (my online La Leche League, Crunchy Momma). It worked. She let go. But she cried forever.

My nipples are still in recovery.

Fellas, let me tell you. Boobies are not all that they are cracked up to be. Yes, they can hypnotize men. They can soothe babies (even if you don't breastfeed...I remember going to sleep on my own mother's boobs and even felt sad when she had a breast reduction because I had come to know them as my "personal pillows"). But the pain! In puberty they hurt. When Auntie Flow visits, they hurt. When you are pregnant, they hurt. They are always being judged for how well they stand at attention or how much they don't. When you have big ones you want little ones. When you have little ones, you want big ones. Then you learn that out of all the cancers, the #3 killer for women, booby cancer is the one most likely to kill you.

Well sheesh. What good are these things?

I've fed my Nat for one good solid year (plus some) with 'em. So they have done some good. But, I would like to keep my nipples, so I think I'm ready to deprive her of eating from them...also, I can't get this image out of my head, which totally makes me want to stop breastfeeding....even though it cracks me up, it's just too close to home.

http://www.vidilife.com/index.cfm?f=media.play&vchrMediaProgramIDCryp=4F8B5CA1-F931-4ADA-9F01-2&action=search

Happy Homecoming Day, Natasha

This day last year is when we brought Natasha home. She slept most of the day, which worked out well since it enabled DH and me to pay endless amounts of attention to Adam.

I was fearful that he would react to her the same way he did when we were at the hospital, but he just loved her up as though he had been waiting his whole life to meet her. Still, she slept. Even through the kisses and his attempts to pick her up.

This last year has been a magnificent neon blur. Like a waving sparkler photographed on the fourth of July. It's hard to encapsulate all that has happened, but Natasha has started to bloom in the last month. She's gone from My Little Baby to the brink of toddlerhood. She's *this close* to walking. She signs "more", "drink", and "up" (also Adam's first signs). Tries to say "Desi" and "Adam" and says "Da da" and "ball" easily. The girl climbs things at 12 months that Adam has just started to climb. I call her my spider monkey because she's so swift and agile it's scary.

At her 12-month appt today our doc agreed that our recent decision to get tubes surgically placed in her ears was a good idea. She had actually lost a few pounds during her last ear infection (but she gained two pounds since and has finally broken 17 pounds!). We visited the ENT and her hearing is perfect, but after 7 rounds of antibiotics, we are ready for something else.

Here are a few recent pictures of my darling little girl.

Enjoying an apple:


With the cake that she HATED (still slow-going on solid foods):


Learning to walk:

This Time

This Time Last Year...

I was miserable. Fat. Unable to bend over to change Adam's diaper without grunting, sweating, and cursing silently.



Natasha was only a week and a few days from being born. Adam didn't know what to expect, except that someone named "Tasha" existed...sort of...

Spring is a funny thing in Minnesota. One week you think you are going to commit suicide or homicide if the snow won't go away. The next week you are busting at the seams because the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, your plants are blooming. You wake up after one long winter night and suddenly...

You have TWO beautiful children. A dog that, despite his insanity is the best dog for your family; a husband, despite his infatuation with expensive toys, is the best husband ever; a wonderful safe yard in a safe neighborhood you can all play in, a university with the best neuroscience program in the country that you can attend, and wonderful family just a call away.

Spring is here. I can bend over and tend to my garden without going into premature labor.

As the Cabella's shirt says, Life is Good.

Thanks for the Mammaries!

I have mentioned before that Adam was formula fed. Not by my choice. We had a very difficult start. Not only did it take 30 hours to extricate him from my body, but it was rather traumatic for the both of us. I was severely dehydrated and he was not a happy newborn. It just didn't work for us. We tried. For 3 good weeks, but eventually I gave in and fed him some formula (which he gobbled up at a pace that most 3 month-olds couldn't match).

So, I was humble in my aspirations to breastfeed Natasha. In fact, I had planned on just starting off formula feeding her, but decided to give breastfeeding a shot at the last minute. Her birth was a planned cesarian, so it was much easier by comparison (and the process lasted about a full day less than Adam's birth). I drank tons of water and prepared myself for weeks of hard work. But it was never really hard with her. She was just extremely patient and naturally knew what to do. This was my first piece of evidence that two babies from the same exact lineage could be so different.

I didn't plan on breastfeeding for 2 weeks or 2 months or even 6 months. I just decided to keep on going as long as it felt like the right thing to do and worked for us. And here we are 12 months later still going strong. This, I am afraid, is not by my own choosing. The benefits are really no longer with me (relaxation, weight loss - a joke for me!). Nutritionally, we are really almost at the point where breastmilk should be less important than solid foods. So weaning should be in our near future.

In truth, I have been trying to "gently" wean her for the last 6 months. But my Natasha is a girl who knows how to get what she wants. And what she wants is the booby. Or, "the boobies"...because I do have two. I am thrilled that it has been so easy for us. I mean, we had some tough moments right in the beginning, but compared to a lot of women, it has been a cakewalk. No thrush, no mastitis, not a lot of pain (except for when she decided to experiment using me as a teething ring once).

My only complaint is that she still loves to breastfeed SO much. Like, if I let her do it 24 hours a day and never gave her solid foods, she would be fine with it. At one year old and only 16 pounds, I am quite anxious for her to get on with solid foods. Breasteeding her doesn't bother me and it's very convenient when we are out and about. I don't have to pack along bottles or anything, but she will soon, sadly, be big enough where people will start to think she's too old. This is a hot debate and I don't care what your opinions on the subject of when a baby is too old to nurse might be. But it's getting to be that time for us.

Unfortunately, she has a radar for when I decide to wean her. The moment I say to myself "let's try to wean her" that's when she decides to want to nurse non-stop. She just got over yet another ear infection and cold and nursing was the only thing that would comfort her. What am I going to use when she is weaned?

At the rate we are going, I am going to have the only daughter in college still nursing...and the only son in college still not potty trained.

A Juicy One!

Spring is finally here! Yesterday was warm enough for me and the kids to get outside. We had a blast digging up the weeds out of my raised bed garden. Adam and Natasha ate lots of dirt (the most solid foods Natasha has eaten in the past week).

Adam found lots of worms. I told him "that's a juicy one, Adam!", so he kept referring to his favorite worm as "my juicy one".



Later he told me "I broke my juicy one in half"...poor worm.

I had to till the soil, but it turns out that it didn't involve a lot of effort on my part. I just had to let Adam loose in it. He is going to be a great gardener.



I am a novice gardener, so hopefully something will grow in my raised bed other than the 9 foot tall weeds that took over last summer.

010203040506

It was pointed out that at 1:02:03 today it will also be 04/05/06. I didn't think I would be awake to experience this firsthand. I should have known better.

Insomnia, I am afraid, is part of who I am. I never had an issue with it until my 20's. As a teen I had "hypersomnia", which is the ability to sleep for 12 hours or more and still not feel refreshed. I truly could have slept my life away then. I know that a lot of teenagers go through that stage, but mine was severe. I could fall asleep anywhere, too. I even fell asleep at a Nine Inch Nails concert.

My first experience with insomnia started about 6 years ago. It also occurred the first time I really experienced anxiety. The two things go hand in hand. I think I would experience the sleeplessness even without the anxiety, though. Motherhood would have been enough to do it to me. For instance, I was taking tonight "off" from childcare duties due to my sickness (a really bad cold that I think has progressed to a sinus infection and possibly bronchitis). I took some NyQuil in preparation for the blessed event. Two hours later I wake up. Here I am. Alert as can be! What normal human being experiences this? Possibly all mothers everywhere. Because, no later than 20 minutes of my waking up do I hear both kids crying.

Maybe they just knew I was up for them. Fortunately, DH got Natasha back to sleep. I covered Adam back up and he's resting again.

Speaking of mothers, I can assure you that mine is awake and will be checking this blog. In fact, she will probably check it at 4:00 am because she is a mother. And insomnia is a mother's disease. Even after your kids grow up, apparently, you still lay awake all night listening for them to need you.

Good to know

Prior to this semester I had been feeling like there was no way I could possibly narrow down my potential career choices. However, I am happy to say that I have made some progress along this front.

I will NOT be an economist. In fact, I will most likely not do anything involving the subject of economics.

I just finished the course. 4 credits in 2 months (that's one credit more than normal in half the normal amount of time). So, while my grade won't be good, at least my course load is going to be much lighter now!

Epi...Curious!

Here's what Natasha REFUSES to eat so far:

- Any baby food that comes in a jar
- Graham crackers
- Biter biscuits
- Cream of Wheat
- Things from a bottle
- Yogurt
- Cheese
- Bread
- Any fruit
- Any vegetable

Here's what Natasha would eat if only I wouldn't take it away from her:
- Lint
- Toe nail shrapnel
- Pieces of paper
- Hair that has fallen from my head in this lovely post-partum stage of hair loss
- Old food that she has tossed off her high chair onto the floor that I haven't found yet
- Things that have fallen off the bottom of our shoes tracked in from outside
- *Dog barf

*Let me explain this last one. No, I do not leave puddles of dog barf laying around. I was in the kitchen a few weeks ago. Desi was laying on the couch. Adam and Natasha were in the living room. Within a minute or so of being in the kitchen I hear Adam say "What Tasha eating?" Not a good sign. So I ran into the living room to find Desi licking up his puddle he had silently thrown up. Natasha was chewing on something and had a chunk in her hand ready to shovel in more. She actually cried in protest when I tried to dig the chunk out of her mouth.

But yet, applesauce just will not do.

Someone suggested letting Desi eat it first...

The funny thing is, now every time Adam sees some schmutz on something he says "that Desi barf?"

Sibling Love

The day Adam visited me in the hospital when I had Natasha...he cried. I expected him to not be thrilled, but I don't know if it was seeing me in a hospital bed with tubes hooked into me, or me holding another baby that made him cry.

The next day we met in a neutral territory. The lactation classroom. Our tactic was different this day. Instead of focussing on introducing him to Nat, the focus was on minimizing her existence and paying attention to him. It went much better, even though he hid in a locker.



By the time we brought Nat home we realized the goal would be, again, to minimize her existence. She slept in her car seat for a few hours in our bedroom. When she woke up we went in to visit her and Adam immediately fell in love with her. To our surprise, he was dying to shower her with kisses and hi-fives whenever she put her hand out.



He was a terribly sweet big brother for the longest time. Treating her sweetly. Showering her with kisses.



Always wanting to hold her (despite the fact that he was actually choking her)


But lately...he is getting mean. He gives her the ol' three stooges eye gouge. Steals her toys. But he's still a big ol' sweety. In the morning he can't wait to greet her in the morning (even though she desperately acts like she needs more coffee before she can handle his hyperactivity).




And he hugs her all the time and says "I yuvs you, Tasha". He's mean to her about 50% of the time...for a 2 1/2 year old, I think that's much better than you can expect. When she freaks out in the car he tries to take care of her and settle her down...they even hold hands sometimes...



Oh my God, I love my babies. I hope they are best friends throughout their lives. Even if it means uniting against a common enemy, which I pray is not mom and dad....

Bag Lady

The other night the laundry basket was out. Unlike normal circumstances, the basket was actually empty.

So Adam decided it would make a good boat. We play that game often. But Natasha wanted to inspect it. Of course, he wanted her to have nothing to do with his new boat, so he ran away with it in tow. She's used to that. So she crawled over to the giant soft cube with zippers on it and started investigating it. Adam decided she shouldn't have that, either. So, into the boat it went.

Being the good natured little gal she is, she crawled over to her little purple car and started investigating it. Quickly, into the boat it went.

Same, is true for my school binder, the zipper of which she innocently, cautiously inspected...

And the food processor that Adam drug out earlier (it's small and I keep the blade out so they don't get hurt).

And the walk-behind popcorn car.

After Adam had all the toys in his boat there was nothing left for Natasha. So she had to go for the boat again. Of course, Adam had to carry it away. But he couldn't forget the car, either. So there he was. Dragging his car in one hand and a boat full of toys in the other. I just pictured him, if he had more words, "back off! this is my cart!"

She might get to play with something one of these days.

It's been so long

I miss coming here and writing about what my monkeys are up to. In fact, I miss my monkeys. Especially Adam Monkey.

Since Natasha sleeps the whole time she spent at daycare, I decided to pull her out and save a few bucks. Because it ain't easy hauling two kids in and out of the ol' Excursion, and having only a few hours before I have to haul Nat back out into the 3 degree temps to go pick Adam up from daycare, I decided to have Adam go 3 full days instead of 4 half days.

We are adjusting, but I miss my little guy so much. I only get to see him for about one hour on Mondays and Tuesdays. It doesn't sound like much, but it really is taking its toll on me. I deeply resent being in class when people are chiming on making class run longer than it ought to. I have a family to get home to...can't everyone just stick to the agenda?

The bright side is I get all day Thursday and Friday to spend with both kiddos. That's mostly a good thing. Although I do long for a break every now and then. Miraculously, they both decide to not sleep at all on Thursdays. I think this routine is just hard on everyone.

Speaking of routine, we desperately need a new one. The old one was to plop both kiddos into the bath after dinner. We have a handy bathtub seat for Natasha so she could sit upright in the tub with Adam and not get knocked over and/or drowned. But it doesn't stop him from pouring water over her head and stuffing her face full of bubbles or gouging her eyes out. So, they don't get to bathe together anymore.

After bathtime, Adam used to settle down nicely in front of the tube watching Little Einsteins or Dora. Then you could read him a book and he'd be out. Not anymore. Now getting him to sleep requires lots of bargaining, battling, crying, consoling, etc. It's like we've taken a step backward.

Natasha...well, she's a great napper, but when it comes to sleeping at night, she refuses to sleep anywhere other than our bed. This wasn't a problem the first few months when she was relatively immobile, but she has, I am afraid to admit, fallen off the bed more than once now. That wasn't a problem when I was in bed with her, but now that she's getting bigger, she just tosses and turns all night long keeping me awake. I cannot remember the last night of good sleep I've had.

Neither DH nor I have a backbone when it comes to "training" our kids to learn to sleep on their own. It is most definitely taking its toll on us. But how do I not give in when I am at school and miss them so much? I feel guilty for being gone at all!

God I am a wimp. I am afraid my kids have already figured this out, too!

Mission Completion

I took a trip into space.

My name was inscribed on a microchip and blasted into space in 1999 on the Stardust mission by JPL. The purpose of the mission was to collect dust from the Stardust comet. In order to gain public awareness for the mission, some marketing genious for JPL started a campaign where you could submit your name to be included on two microchips. One microchip would return to earth upon completion of the Stardust mission and the other chip would be left in space forever...

I included my name as well as my nephew's name (I only had one nephew at the time). So, we are now immortal.

Please visit the Stardust mission's web site for information. Stardust just returned to earth with more samples than NASA engineers thought possible. It's such a cool mission and the public outreach for this mission for NASA on this mission was among the most creative campaigns they have ever come up with.

A room full of leaders

And we all want to be the leader...

My Studies in Leadership class is on Tuesday nights. I just got back from it. It was the second night that my group got to work together on our group project in which we are to design a company, a product, come up with interview questions that we will use in a mock interview. I got stuck with a lame group. But, the first thing in leadership is that you have to learn to work with what you've got.

We do not really get along well as a group. I would probably only CHOOSE to work with one of the people out of the 5 that I got saddled with, but again, work with what you've got. I think the thing that made us not get along is that we all wanted to be the leader. Are you familiar with the forming/storming/norming/and performing model of group dynamics? We are very much in the "storming" stage. But I like to think, as do all the other members of the group, that I am the leaderist of the group!

Oh, and my Psychopathology class was interesting last night. Some kid came drunk out of his mind, passed out on the table and the teacher thought he was sleeping and just let him "sleep". In the middle of her lecture he puked all over the table and floor. Get this. She didn't stop the class! His friend ushered him out and she just kept on lecturing with the puddle of barf that was 3 chairs away from me. I couldn't believe it. This was after we watched a video of someone drilling a hole in their own head. I am really not looking forward to going back to that classroom next week given the nasty associations I have with the class.

Sorry for the disgusting rant. I will have some cute kid pictures up this week to compensate for your having to read my unpleasant news.

A Little Update

I didn't write about all the things I had decided to write about while on break. It was my plan to develop a few ideas I had and post them here but I enjoyed not writing for awhile since my composition class had me all written out. Although I did enjoy the hard work. And, it paid off.

Here are a few updates:

On School
I got a 4.0 and am "technically" on the Dean's List although they messed up and my ethics instructor didn't get my grade turned in on time so I'm not on the list that's posted everywhere. Still, a 4.0 was my goal for this semester and I am proud to say "I did it!"

I did my final speech on running, even though Advance Directives won the poll I had posted here (thanks for voting). I was the first speaker to go and I couldn't see myself starting the final speeches on the topic of death. Plus, Advanced Directives required more research than the running speech and I had to devote all my energy to my composition course.

Regarding my composition course, my final paper was very well-researched and I worked my butt off on writing the damn thing. I was so thrilled when I read the professor's comments, which said it was the best paper of her two honors' classes. Yeah, me! Also, she wants to use my "Midwestern as a Second Language" paper for the writing magazine they publish twice per semester. Yippee! And the presentation I lead went off fabulously. I think I did a really good job helping everyone do a good job and that makes me happy. It was a great group to work with.

On Adam
Adam is doing great. Amusing us daily and being a good big brother. We were working on potty training but he REFUSES to poop. He is literally very anal retentive. Being a (currently) psych major, I am aware of what this means, therefore, I find myself worrying..."am I too controlling?" So we put the potty away for now and are forgetting about it. Still, when a child says "No, I am not going to poop on my potty, I'm just gonna poop in my diaper" it seems like they are capable of potty training. I'll give him some more time.

Sadly, Adam was spending so much time at daycare during the last two weeks of fall semester that he actually said one night when I brought him home "I wanna go home to Cheryl's house". I almost cried. Fortunately, children are quick to forgive and we spent a lot of re-bonding time over the holiday break. I missed my little guy SO MUCH. He is such a good buddy.

On Natasha
She has had one ear infection after the other. Her pediatrician is not recommending tubes yet, but it's a technicality. Her last EI took 3 rounds of antibiotics to kill ending with Omnicef (which I keep mentally changing to "unicef"). If the Omnicef doesn't kill it, it's tubes. Though this EI they kicked her back to Augmentin, which means it won't kill it, she'll have an EI for two months meanwhile not eating. I have been working so hard to get her up to 16 pounds and the EI's don't help. I just want tubes already. I might bypass the Ped and go right to the ENT.

Her development is way ahead of what I expected her to be, though. She has been crawling for about a month or two. She pulls up on everything (including, to her disfavor, Adam and Desi, who do not stay put) and has attempted letting go only to fall a few times. She claps and does "so big" all the time. I am convinced she's going to be my wild child. You throw her up in the air and she cracks up laughing. Swing her around and she doesn't stop smiling. When you did these things to Adam he would just get a scared, surprised look on his face.

Oh yeah, and she caught the stomach flu the other day and barfed all night last night. At least I got to see how much breastmilk she actually consumes in a sitting. More than I thought! I was thinking of weaning her but with the EI's she gets, I can't bring myself to do it. She was down to two or three sessions a day and I was drying up so I've been drinking tons of water and taking Fenugreek to increase my supply.

On DH
He got DirectTV. Good research on his part. It's cheaper than cable and we get more channels. He's on the Atkins diet (sort of), which is good because it resulted in him eating broccoli, which is something I never thought I could get the man to do. I can't believe he hasn't left me yet considering how stressed, tired, not there for him I have been. It will pay off one day, honey!

On Desi
You know, he gets by. The dog has been climbing into my lap lately when there are no kids on it. He's also been climbing into bed with us lately, which is something he hasn't done in quite some time.

This Semester
Microeconomics, Studies in Leadership (with the crazy right brained, type C personality professor I had fall 2004), Digital Art (lookout red eyes here I come!), and Psychopathology.

Lots of subbing for daycare (meaning I fill in for our provider with like 900 kids screaming for me at once, but my own scream the loudest at this time). Everyone pray for an easy cold and flu season for us.

Thanks for reading. I'll be posting lots now because posts on here mean avoiding homework and housework!